Adventure or misadventure

This weekend I did something that everyone else does all the time and realised how sheltered my life is.

On Saturday I went to Ikea. I booked my zipcar for four hours. Printed out all the maps on how to get there, packed up the baby, pram, carseat and carseat base, food and bottle for baby and headed off to get the car. (Car seat goes in the pram, baby goes in car seat, base sits on little prongs on the front of the pram)

Halfway there I find I don't have the map that tells me where the car is. Oh well I will just walk down this street where I think it is and hope to find it. I did, it had zipcar written on it.

Ok - off we go, oops was I supposed to take that exit. I don't see the second roundabout I was looking for. Hmm Ealing is definately the wrong way. After some map consultation, and bribing the baby with a biscuit, I find Wembley stadium. It is somewhere near here, so I drive through some business parks until... well it is quite big, so I couldn't miss if forever.

I park, unpack the baby (who is now sleeping) and follow the signs to the front of the store. I explain to the nice man at the entrance that I am an Ikea virgin. He gives me a bag, which I hang on the pram and a map and a pen and paper.

I head upstair and I was quite impressed. Lots of model rooms with tags on things to tell you what you are looking at. I consult my map and if I follow the path around the loop I will find the bit I am after. But I wander a bit looking at things. Emily is quite happy. She has never seen so many people. It is a bit like going to an exibition. I linger in bookcases for a while, and then I find them. Desks and chairs. I try everything out, read all the tags. Check out the prices. I find the desk of my dreams and ask the assistant. Apparently I can get all the bits of it downstairs, except for this bit which you get from here and those bits, you can get in another section. The baby has started grabbing furniture as we pass it, because it is funny to see the pram slow.

Cool - mission accomplished... or so I think. I continue on now with only an hour left to get the car back. Through kitchens, where I stop to make up a bottle for the baby. Through childrens, through home decoration. I wait for the lift I get downstairs and Oh no. there is another floor just as large with as many things put in your way to stop you moving quickly or missing a bargin. Ooop sorry, yes I do take up lots of space with the baby and the bag. Which is the way out? Then the logistical problem.

Ok - so I want a desk and chair, and they are in Isle 1 spot xx but everyone else has these big trolleys, where do I get one of those? How will I push it anyhow. Is there noone here who can help?

Ok - well I can order online, I'll take these things to the checkout and leave. Oh but there are queues, and not orderly ones, big trolleys backed up and children and prams and ..... I wait a while but, I have to go, I dump and run. I return the car late - I get a fine even if though there is noone waiting for it.

I could have gone back the next day, with the husband and have my desk then and there (with assembly). But I order online, they charge the same amount as the car late fee for delivery. It will be here in a week. Ikea is wonderous, it is also in the first circle of hell.