Desent into idiocy

My brain has been replaced with boiled tofu.
I know there are at least two brains in the head. One of them is the hip cool withit brain, that knows where it's at. It is witty, charming and thinks before it acts.
The other I call it the hind brain (like the back end of the cow in the pantomime). It spends all it's time in the kitchen at parties. It knows how to drive to work (autopilot mode), remembers things in a nagging "you've forgotten something" way and pretty much does all the work around the house.
My hip brain has gone to ibiza. It's drinking cocktails, picking up men and taking too many drugs. It has left me at home with the hind brain. I hope it comes back soon.